Skip to content Skip to footer
|

William Rivers Pitt | Ted Cruz9h&dfxqqqqqqq

Ted Cruz is the true demon spawn of Joe McCarthy.

Do you want to see more stories like this published? Click here to help Truthout continue doing this work!

We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold.
– The Doctor

Life, I have been repeatedly told, is not fair. I accept this, and do not resent it most of the time, because it is axiomatic, and so any effort spent resenting it is a waste of calories. One may as well resent gravity, or thunderstorms, or giant potholes on Massachusetts Avenue in Cambridge. They happen, they hit, you move on … and if you should have a limp on the far side of the encounter, well, that’s what the good folks of Wisconsin would call “tough cheese.”

Most of the time, I said. Every once in a while, though, there is an event so bombastically preposterous that you are left staring at the sky with fearful eyes waiting for the locusts and the rain of frogs. Ever yell at a tree? I did, just this morning. I had to yell at something, because five minutes before I shouted at the utterly indifferent birch bark, I’d found out that Texas Sen. Ted Cruz had announced his run for the presidency, which means I’m going to be required to write about him for at least another year.

In a just and decent world, all that would be required of me in such an effort would be to slam my face into the keyboard, resulting in a work-product that read:

” … 9h&dfxqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq … “

…because that is all this utter, blithering, obnoxious waste of my time deserves. But it is not a just and decent world, evidenced vividly by the fact that a greasy huckster fraud cretin Batman-villain-looking human clown car is not only running for President of the United States, but is actually being taken seriously by the “news” media. That does not mean I have to take him seriously – with every fiber of my being, I do not – but now that he is officially on the board, I am no longer able to enjoy the comfortable fiction of pretending he doesn’t exist.

In the aforementioned non-existent just and decent world, one would think that some essential bedrock personal flaws would disqualify a person from attempting to reach the Oval Office … say, for example, galloping publicly displayed ignorance of a depth and breadth seldom seen on the North American continent. Once again, however, this is not a just and decent world, evidenced vividly by a presidential candidate unable to grasp the basic theme of a children’s story.

Back in September of 2013, as part of the GOP’s endlessly fruitless quest to submarine the Affordable Care Act, Cruz spent more than twenty-one hours yipping and yapping like a poorly-trained seal on the Senate floor. In the midst of this mind-numbing aria, he read “Green Eggs And Ham” by Dr. Seuss, and drove home the point as he understood it to all and sundry: this story means “Don’t try new things” like the ACA.

My daughter will be all of two years old in a couple of weeks. She can’t read, she can’t write, she falls down for no particular reason at least a couple of times a day, her vocabulary is measured in minutes, and she poops in her pants without thinking twice about it. This is all fine – she’s a toddler, and that’s what toddlers do – but my illiterate, clumsy, incomprehensible poop-factory of a child has a better grasp of the moral behind “Green Eggs And Ham” – Try new things, duh! – than the Senator from Texas who would presume to sit in the most important chair in the land.

And he voted against the Violence Against Women Act, and denies the established science behind climate change, and opposes the minimum wage, and wants to privatize Social Security, and opposes not only marriage equality but the very existence of gay pride parades, and supports incredibly racist and restrictive voter ID laws, and wants to drill for oil and frack in Native American reservations along with basically everywhere else, and was an original supporter of the Keystone XL pipeline, and opposes all campaign finance regulations, and opposes net neutrality because capitalism is so awesome you guys, and oh, yeah, he does not believe in the separation of church and state.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Ted Cruz is – to all intents and purposes – the true demon spawn of Joe McCarthy, Phyllis Schlafly, several small rocks and an under-watered cactus that nobody ever really loved… and now he is going to be in my kitchen for at least a year. Life is not fair, and this is not a just and decent world, and if I ever needed affirmative, irrefutable proof of this, now I have it.

The 2016 Republican presidential race is officially underway.

9h&dfxqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq

Help us Prepare for Trump’s Day One

Trump is busy getting ready for Day One of his presidency – but so is Truthout.

Trump has made it no secret that he is planning a demolition-style attack on both specific communities and democracy as a whole, beginning on his first day in office. With over 25 executive orders and directives queued up for January 20, he’s promised to “launch the largest deportation program in American history,” roll back anti-discrimination protections for transgender students, and implement a “drill, drill, drill” approach to ramp up oil and gas extraction.

Organizations like Truthout are also being threatened by legislation like HR 9495, the “nonprofit killer bill” that would allow the Treasury Secretary to declare any nonprofit a “terrorist-supporting organization” and strip its tax-exempt status without due process. Progressive media like Truthout that has courageously focused on reporting on Israel’s genocide in Gaza are in the bill’s crosshairs.

As journalists, we have a responsibility to look at hard realities and communicate them to you. We hope that you, like us, can use this information to prepare for what’s to come.

And if you feel uncertain about what to do in the face of a second Trump administration, we invite you to be an indispensable part of Truthout’s preparations.

In addition to covering the widespread onslaught of draconian policy, we’re shoring up our resources for what might come next for progressive media: bad-faith lawsuits from far-right ghouls, legislation that seeks to strip us of our ability to receive tax-deductible donations, and further throttling of our reach on social media platforms owned by Trump’s sycophants.

We’re preparing right now for Trump’s Day One: building a brave coalition of movement media; reaching out to the activists, academics, and thinkers we trust to shine a light on the inner workings of authoritarianism; and planning to use journalism as a tool to equip movements to protect the people, lands, and principles most vulnerable to Trump’s destruction.

We’re asking all of our readers to start a monthly donation or make a one-time donation – as a commitment to stand with us on day one of Trump’s presidency, and every day after that, as we produce journalism that combats authoritarianism, censorship, injustice, and misinformation. You’re an essential part of our future – please join the movement by making a tax-deductible donation today.

If you have the means to make a substantial gift, please dig deep during this critical time!

With gratitude and resolve,

Maya, Negin, Saima, and Ziggy