Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to bid farewell to a giant, one whose demise has been recorded around the world, such was the impact of this icon of the interstates. One of massive strength, it left behind a vast mark – some would say gash – on our planet.
General Motors’ Hummer has died. But it will continue to spew its fumes – and spread global warmth – for years to come.
The Hummer was born in 1992, the offspring of an M1A1 Abrams tank and, it is rumored, Beelzebub. Too big for its garage, it was raised in a driveway in Kokomo, Indiana. Eventually, it moved to the wide-open spaces of Scarsdale, NY. But wherever it wandered, it was misunderstood, got no respect – and, often, not enough gas.
The Hummer did what most cars do, but oh so much more. It drove through big puddles. It dropped kids at school. And like the true truck it was, it hauled lattes home from Starbucks.
It had but five seats, just like the Prius. For all its hulk and bulk, it carried a modest trunk.
Still, the Hummer managed to generate conflict even among the most conflict averse. We remember the time an auto reporter called to say he was taking the Hummer for a test drive. He looked down at the car stopped next to him at a red light. There sat five nuns. Each blessed him – with a one-finger wave.
Over its lifetime, the Hummer’s greatest success was excess: Excess gas consumption – ten miles per gallon – and excess pollution.
Some people hated the Hummer, but at heart it was just a big garbage truck that dumped into the sky.
The Hummer will be missed, particularly by the world’s oil cartels that benefited from Hummer’s success and became its close drinking buddies.
Its passing prompted King Abdullah of Saudi Arabia and President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad of Iran to declare budget emergencies. Indeed, many petro tyrants recalled their late nights together when a well-lubricated Hummer would regale them with its adventures, like the time it emitted more carbon dioxide in one day than the entire nation of Slovenia.
The Hummer was predeceased by a stepbrother, the Ford Excursion, affectionately known as the Ford Valdez. Survivors include Chevy Suburban, Ford Super Duty Pickup, Dodge Ram, Nissan Armada and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Services will be held in federal bankruptcy court.
Truthout Is Preparing to Meet Trump’s Agenda With Resistance at Every Turn
Dear Truthout Community,
If you feel rage, despondency, confusion and deep fear today, you are not alone. We’re feeling it too. We are heartsick. Facing down Trump’s fascist agenda, we are desperately worried about the most vulnerable people among us, including our loved ones and everyone in the Truthout community, and our minds are racing a million miles a minute to try to map out all that needs to be done.
We must give ourselves space to grieve and feel our fear, feel our rage, and keep in the forefront of our mind the stark truth that millions of real human lives are on the line. And simultaneously, we’ve got to get to work, take stock of our resources, and prepare to throw ourselves full force into the movement.
Journalism is a linchpin of that movement. Even as we are reeling, we’re summoning up all the energy we can to face down what’s coming, because we know that one of the sharpest weapons against fascism is publishing the truth.
There are many terrifying planks to the Trump agenda, and we plan to devote ourselves to reporting thoroughly on each one and, crucially, covering the movements resisting them. We also recognize that Trump is a dire threat to journalism itself, and that we must take this seriously from the outset.
After the election, the four of us sat down to have some hard but necessary conversations about Truthout under a Trump presidency. How would we defend our publication from an avalanche of far right lawsuits that seek to bankrupt us? How would we keep our reporters safe if they need to cover outbreaks of political violence, or if they are targeted by authorities? How will we urgently produce the practical analysis, tools and movement coverage that you need right now — breaking through our normal routines to meet a terrifying moment in ways that best serve you?
It will be a tough, scary four years to produce social justice-driven journalism. We need to deliver news, strategy, liberatory ideas, tools and movement-sparking solutions with a force that we never have had to before. And at the same time, we desperately need to protect our ability to do so.
We know this is such a painful moment and donations may understandably be the last thing on your mind. But we must ask for your support, which is needed in a new and urgent way.
We promise we will kick into an even higher gear to give you truthful news that cuts against the disinformation and vitriol and hate and violence. We promise to publish analyses that will serve the needs of the movements we all rely on to survive the next four years, and even build for the future. We promise to be responsive, to recognize you as members of our community with a vital stake and voice in this work.
Please dig deep if you can, but a donation of any amount will be a truly meaningful and tangible action in this cataclysmic historical moment.
We’re with you. Let’s do all we can to move forward together.
With love, rage, and solidarity,
Maya, Negin, Saima, and Ziggy