It is December 19, 2014. It is as terrible a year as I have ever known. I wish only for the year to end as soon as possible. Right now, I’m sitting at the coffee shop of the town of Konstantinovka, Donetsk region. Outside the window, there are people in camouflage uniform with guns. I do not know for whom they fight, but they are so young that I would like to give them cocoa with milk and cookies. Maybe I will do that.
There are Christmas trees on sale in local markets. ATMs are still working, so people have come from the nearby villages early in the morning to get cash. And beautiful women lead their children by hand on the way to school. Time has sped up; shops are open from 6 am and I have a feeling that people are running fast to slip past the war…
I am so tired of the everyday filtering of information, like coffee grounds through clenched teeth, of the tetrabytes of state propaganda, hatred and lies. So I decided to come here from Kyiv and see for myself. In doing so, I am challenging myself–my peaceful life, the traditional New Year tangerines, cinemas and galleries. My eyes and ears are sharply attuned… and I’m scared. Yesterday in the train, I heard a woman talk to her husband about the [Sept 5] ceasefire, but today I was given this advice: “When you hear shots, get down on the ground and cover your head with your hands. We are used to the habit.”
There will be neither reports from me from the front line nor in-depth interviews with soldiers, militia members or fighters. I did not travel to here to see war but to see its underside and the ‘wounds’ of cities and of the hearts of the people. But I’m ready and I expect to see everything. I promised to myself that, whatever happens, I will be brave and honest.
It is 9:48 am. In few minutes, I will finish my coffee then push the ‘publish’ button and begin to submerge myself into this reality. I hope that all will be ok and that every day I will be able to write about what I see and experience here. I also dream to find myself back home for the New Year, to decorate the tree and smile to those who are waiting for me there.
Truthout Is Preparing to Meet Trump’s Agenda With Resistance at Every Turn
Dear Truthout Community,
If you feel rage, despondency, confusion and deep fear today, you are not alone. We’re feeling it too. We are heartsick. Facing down Trump’s fascist agenda, we are desperately worried about the most vulnerable people among us, including our loved ones and everyone in the Truthout community, and our minds are racing a million miles a minute to try to map out all that needs to be done.
We must give ourselves space to grieve and feel our fear, feel our rage, and keep in the forefront of our mind the stark truth that millions of real human lives are on the line. And simultaneously, we’ve got to get to work, take stock of our resources, and prepare to throw ourselves full force into the movement.
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There are many terrifying planks to the Trump agenda, and we plan to devote ourselves to reporting thoroughly on each one and, crucially, covering the movements resisting them. We also recognize that Trump is a dire threat to journalism itself, and that we must take this seriously from the outset.
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