Five Crazy Things Cuccinelli’s Surrogates Have Said (So He Didn’t Have to)

In the final days of the Virginia governor’s campaign, both candidates are bringing out every gun in their arsenal to woo last minute voters and convince their bases to come out in droves. Democratic candidate Terry McAuliffe has had both Clintons — Bill and Hillary — on the ground to round up support. Republican candidate and Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli, meanwhile, has brought in every Tea Party and social conservative big hitter he can think of.

With such a cavalcade of far right stars, it’s not a shock that Cuccinelli’s surrogates have said some pretty amazing things on his behalf. Here are just five:

1. We have to make abortion illegal or there will no longer be short people.

Kentucky Senator Rand Paul can always be counted on for a little Christian conservative crazy. His latest, while speaking to a crowd at Liberty University, keeps that reputation intact. “In your lifetime, much of your potential – or lack thereof – can be known simply by swabbing the inside of your cheek,” Senator Paul told the crowd. “Are we prepared to select out the imperfect among us?” He then implied that the short, fat and “less intelligent” would be unlikely to make it through the Brave New World, according to the Washington Post.

2. Legal abortion is like living through Nazi Germany.

Considering what a hard time Jim Bob Duggar seems to have speaking on the trail, it’s surprising that he was able to say anything that offensive. But he still managed to take his standard “baby Holocaust“ rhetoric and up it even further, comparing America to Nazi Germany. “You know that’s where we’re at in our nation,” Duggar said earlier this month, before telling Cuccinelli supporters that, “You guys are the army that can go out and impact America.” He also told voters to support the Republican ticket because the governor and lieutenant governor were “not trying to please men; they’re trying to please God.”

3. Expanding health insurance coverage to the poor is like spreading pixie dust.‘”

Surrogates aren’t just for public events. They’re also for conference calls, like the one where Wisconsin Rep. Paul Ryan joined Cuccinelli to condemn governors who were expanding Medicaid coverage thanks to Obamacare, calling the federal payments for expansion some sort of magic that would never happen in real life. “This is like budget pixie dust claiming that this money is all of a sudden going to come raining in from Washington and pay for all the things you want to do in state government,” Ryan told reporters, according to the Washington Post. “It’s just not so. It’s misleading.”

4. College women are vulnerable and need protecting — as long as they dont need any reproductive health care.

When former Governor Mike Huckabee stomped for Cuccinelli, he reminded voters that the A.G. would always fight for the “most vulnerable” of people. Then, to name some examples, he provided three: “a young lady on a college campus…a homeless person who has no place else to be or a child in the womb of a mother.” Those three particular choices are pretty telling. After all, what exactly is so “vulnerable” about a young woman, particularly one who is in the process of getting a college education? Unless, of course, it’s about protecting her from the evils of birth control and abortion, two issues Cuccinelli agrees with Huckabee on.

And finally, the craziest thing said by a Cuccinelli campaign surrogate in the race:

5. Women will go for Ken Cuccinelli.

The words, spoken by Republican Governor Nikki Haley in mid-October, seemed like a stretch back then when Cuccinelli was trailing McAuliffe by about 14 points. That gender gap is now 24 points. Still, weeks earlier Gov. Haley declared: “The women in Virginia will do their homework in this race. They will realize that for the good of economic success in Virginia, for our families, for our lifestyles and for the future of Virginia, women will go for Ken Cuccinelli.”

The women did their homework, it seems. Their conclusion, however, was far different.