Dude, How Come There is No Door Number Three?

Journalist 1: “Did you see those protesters outside? There were some really wild signs they were waving around.”

Journalist 2: “Apparently the people want to hear how the candidates would substantially cut military spending.”

Journalist 3: “No—that is a non starter—they both want to increase military spending.”

Journalist 1: “Yes—and there are some people that want them to debate how to break up the too big to fail bank.”

Journalist 3: “Again- smell the coffee people. No difference between them there.”

Journalist 2: “What about breaking up the big media companies?”

Journalist 1: “Are you crazy? That is how we got this gig.”

Journalist 3: “Exactly.”

Journalist 2: “Should we ask them to debate the restrictions on liberty and the invasions of personal privacy?”

Journalist 1: “Well isn’t trampling on the Constitution justified by the war on terror?”

Journalist 3: “It’s doesn’t matter—they both agree on it.”

Journalist 2: “Should we have them talk about the outsourcing of jobs and tax avoidance by multinational corporations?”

Journalist 1: “Who do you think is sponsoring this debate?

Journalist 3: “And candidates? And our networks?”

Journalist 2: “I guess we should get the appearance of a different point of view in here.”

Journalist 1: “With leaders of the two parties co-chairing the debates? That is never going to happen.”

Journalist 3: “It clearly seems to be two parties with one owner.”

Journalist 2: “Well my concern, from the perspective of television ratings, is how do we make this interesting when there really isn’t much difference between them?”

Journalist 3: “Stick with the social distraction topics. We’ve been talking about that for 30 years. Sex and sexuality—and that is always a good with viewers for ratings.”

Journalist 1: “Exactly: gay marriage, abortion,, pedophilia, birth control”

Journalist 2: “and don’t forget legitimate rape.”

Journalist 3: “Oh, good one, we can spend at least 15 minutes on legitimate rate alone.”

The Man With The Crown: “If you want to change the direction and future of this country then we need a different point of view. The two candidates are not going to be talking about the real issues: exploding debt, unfair taxation, two standards of justice, and corporate control of what used to be our democracy. If you want to see these and other issues fixed : Occupy the debates.”